Apologies first for being MIA lately... Endo sucks and one of the lesser known symptoms is severe mood swings, so your girls been struggling a lil and coming off some long term anxiety meds to boot.
Thankfully, I'm feeling tonnes better, and am hopefully out of my creative rut. I'm hoping that while I'm back in the groove I can churn some things out for the inevitable onset of another flare.
Anyways, on the topic of having a uterus (not exclusive, please assume especially in this context that when I say 'women', I mean trans women too, regardless of whether they've had reaffirming surgery or not), I've been thinking a lot lately, especially at school, about why some women struggle to work together or to appreciate each others successes. It's true to some extent that things I've noted at school could be maturity related and possibly also stem from white privilege as well, but it really got me thinking about why so many women struggle to appreciate each others success.
After two-thousand or so years of patriarchy (variable by culture, and equally attitudes towards trans women vary in this respect too) and while attitudes differed over time, religion and country, the vast majority of women especially in the Western world were oppressed, and trans women have suffered punishments that ranged from enslavement to execution purely for their gender expression. Realistically, we should be raising each other up and tearing down men, rather than feeling as though we are each others worst rivals (which is categorically false in almost every industry).
So, the question remains: why do we not blink an eye when we see a man get awarded for his efforts, but when we see another woman, we feel the need to find some reason to criticize or tear her down. This is most evident in social media comments sections. For example, Miley Cyrus gets record of the year. on her post about it, for every encouraging, supportive comment, there is another five or so negative ones criticizing her voice, lyrics or talent level. The same can't be said for men who have received an award for their chosen career. For whatever reason, we are far more threatened by a woman's success than by a mans-- which is almost paradoxical. The reason is likely due to the fact that we have to work twice as hard for half the credit, which means there is far less opportunity for us. This results in the illusion that we are each others competition, regardless of whether or not this is actually true. There is always the expectation that 'that should/could/would be me'. When few succeed, many with want to. That competitivity is natural and primal, from back when we as humans had to fight tooth and nail to survive and get the best food, the best partner, and so on and so forth. It's completely understandable to be envious, but how we react to it is another story altogether.
The moral of the story, is that if you had five women applying for one job, and all of them had the exact same qualifications and were perfect candidates, you would still have to pick one, and it wouldn't be due to anyone else being less qualified. Someone else's success is not necessarily your lack.
The more women that succeed in male-dominated areas, the more opportunities there will be for the rest of us. The only way forward, is through. It's our duty to empower and encourage each other, so that the world sees how incredible and talented we all are. This would result in more opportunity for everyone to showcase their achievements. While the lone wolf dies, the pack survives. There is strength in our numbers and so much potential in us if we work together and support one another.
On that note, why don't you go leave a positive comment on a friend or celebrity who you admire's post, or send a compliment their way? I think we could all benefit from taking our ego's out of the equation sometimes, and thinking twice before we say something derogatory, regardless of whether their in earshot or not.
Be king, my lovelies!
-Adira x
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